Mark Sachs (ksleet) wrote,
Mark Sachs

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Spore: Putting the "terror" back in "terraforming."

This is a story about the Naga Empire. The Naga Empire explore the galaxy with their spaceship, Tranquility and Happiness. They spread friendliness and smiles wherever they go.

Fig. 1: Friendliness and smiles!

However, the mean old Stompwing Empire doesn't like friendliness and smiles. They constantly attacked... well, they didn't attack the Naga, but they attacked the Naga's friends, and then the Naga's friends would constantly call for help while the Naga were busy on the other side of the goddamn spiral arm. And this wouldn't do. So after fending off about fifty Stompwing attacks on their friends (who never thanked them for helping afterwards) Tranquility and Happiness went to the Stompwing homeworld to take out the trash.

Fig. 2: Nice planet you got here, gov'nor. Shame if something were to happen to it.

Unfortunately the Stompwing homeworld had lots of cities and the cities had lots of defense turrets and they also had about a million spaceships, which is kind of unfair since the Naga only get one but we'll let that go. So instead the Naga decided to do a little thinking outside the egg sac, so to speak, and went to the Terraforming Panel to try out the Cloud Vacuum.

Fig. 3: We got this idea from Mel Brooks.

The purpose of the Cloud Vacuum is to reduce overly dense atmospheres on planets you're trying to terraform. But the temptation to give it a spin on an already terraformed planet was just too much to resist.

Fig. 4: Oops! I guess your planet can't support all those cities now! Or in fact life of any kind!

Fig. 5: I think we've all learned something today.

Specifically, the Naga learned that science can be misused, and the Stompwings learned how to breathe vacuum. Or possibly not. We really haven't heard much from them since that day. And that's the end of our story for tonight.

Fig. 6: Now on to adventures new!
Tags: games, pie
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