If I wanted a program I wrote to lock up because it was installed on a very specific model of hard drive I don't know how I'd do that. But Adobe managed by accident, and on a notoriously hardware-restricted platform to boot; they don't even have the excuse of the wide variety of random hardware and drivers found on a PC. Guys? That beer I was going to buy you for the relative image resizing feature? RESCINDED.
Anywho, hopefully I can still use Photoshop until this gets sorted out. There are kind of things I need to do with it.
Update 2: I uninstalled and reinstalled Photoshop in the end, noticing along the way that rather than having the cute "drag an icon to the Applications folder/drag icon to trash" scheme like every other Mac app, Photoshop has an install program and an uninstall program, which I wouldn't have realized if I hadn't randomly decided to check the readme file. Bad form, Adobe. It seems to work for now, so I guess I'll just use the raw un-updated version until Adobe gets its act together.